Here is a thought. Inside the family, our ego is properly replaced
by the family ego. It is when that is
not in balance that the family becomes dysfunctional. Yet it is natural to join one’s ego to the
family ego and share
in its commonality.
We spend so much time thinking
about what is wrong we often forget to recognize so much of what is right and
make an effort to emulate just that.
More to the point this is a
reminder that our social behavior is the built in software that comes with our
genetic inheritance and that it is way more subtle than imagined or explained.
Family: Our Inherited Evolutionary Ladder
May 18, 2013 |
Ida Lawrence, Contributor
Have you ever wondered why you were born into your particular physical
family? Family: It’s a grouping of higher selves that start out and grow
together, and then begin to track along different paths.
When I started looking for the truth in things beyond the
system-sanctioned information, I knew it would strain my family. I suspect we
all deal with that strain in some way, so how do we make it serve the highest
good?
We all get the same conditioning but we take to it differently. Religious beliefs are the strongest force; second to and sometimes commingled with political beliefs. Mixed in there as well are the moral, social, racial, educational and economic beliefs: groupings within groupings within groupings… all of them rife with opinions and judgments.
For some family members, inherited beliefs provide comfort and
security. For others, the beliefs are too restrictive – so the spirit must use
them as a launching pad. There is always the random molecule, as I call it… the
person who can’t fit inside the beliefs and has to make a move. Sometimes we
know it from a very young age. It’s the ‘I won’t be staying here’ feeling that
turns into exploring, wandering, seeking and yearning for knowledge.
This quest is the natural, spiritual desire to fulfill our lives – it’s
our evolution and incredibly precious to us. A search begins for information,
and it leads to books and people who nudge us along with the same spirit of
yearning. We want something beyond the suffering of this world: an alternative
way of being, inside the physical but outside of the inhumane matrix.
So there I was, wanting to know who I am, and displeasing some of my family. While it seemed painful at the time, I realize now that it was the friction of evolution. Living through the pressure of another’s displeasure takes strength of spirit, understanding of the other, introspection and honest self-examination, forgiveness, and some psychological sophistication.
Ultimately, the warmth of love has to be bigger than the ego’s opinion
– quite a test for all.
No matter what the system of belief is; religion, politics, race, whatever… people want you to remain in place. It gives them comfort and it verifies the belief. The occasional zealot may even infringe on you to keep you in place. ‘Allowing is love’ is not in the family rulebook unless you put it there. So this will be challenge number one, for the entire group.
It’s good to keep in mind, if you are mature enough to do so, that each one of these individuals, including the zealot, are spirits in a physical body, having an evolutionary experience. They all have the divine spark and they are part of your growth as you are part of theirs.
You can cope with the friction by keeping your inner beliefs to
yourself… that’s the safe way and it can work just fine. Sometimes it’s the
most loving thing to do. But if that’s not working, and your spiritual journey
does become an issue, you’ll have to go it alone, and be gracious as you do it.
To do any less, to fake who you are in order to avoid friction, creates
an uncomfortable variance within you. The variance will be dispiriting and
damaging to your growth. You do have to be yourself in life, so if it’s the
fake you that goes there to visit, maybe you’re better off to exit the stage
for a time.
In my younger years, I did exit the stage… not because of family
dysfunction, but in order to protect my journey. The transition I was
experiencing was so challenging, that I couldn’t have my family around. Their
worry would weaken my resolve, and I needed my resolve. Since my evolution was
spiritual, honorable and vital to me, I cut ties and went through a very great
expansion. It was a life and love lesson for all, as it turns out, causing us
to examine ties, judgments and opinions.
Speaking from experience, and knowing myself better now, the ties were
attached to my own weakness. It took a bit of disentangling to realize that the
‘I am causing them pain’ guilt trip was indeed an ego trip – the inflated idea
of my own importance. None of us is that important. On the liberation journey
one must learn to place things where they belong: my discomfort is of my own making;
the discomfort of others is of their own making. It takes some growing up to
realize that fact.
Later on, much later, I would learn that the way to experience family
and hold to your power is to get the ego out of the way and trust what you
know. You have knowledge gained from your own conscious living as well as your
inner connection to the divine. You are indeed here to evolve and serve. Every
member of your family is here to do the same. Your evolution is a factor in
their evolution and vice versa. Have respect for them, knowing that your higher
selves have come together for interaction and growth.
It can be a kind of ‘eureka moment’ to realize that – comforting in the
overall scheme of things.
There is great value in family; not as emotional ‘ties that bind’, but as our inherited evolutionary ladder. It promises a beautiful outcome… if we make it so.
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