Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Family: Our Inherited Evolutionary Ladder
Here is a thought. Inside the family, our ego is properly replaced by the family ego. It is when that is not in balance that the family becomes dysfunctional. Yet it is natural to join one’s ego to the family ego and share
in its commonality.
We spend so much time thinking about what is wrong we often forget to recognize so much of what is right and make an effort to emulate just that.
More to the point this is a reminder that our social behavior is the built in software that comes with our genetic inheritance and that it is way more subtle than imagined or explained.
Family: Our Inherited Evolutionary Ladder
May 18, 2013 |
Ida Lawrence, Contributor
Have you ever wondered why you were born into your particular physical family? Family: It’s a grouping of higher selves that start out and grow together, and then begin to track along different paths.
When I started looking for the truth in things beyond the system-sanctioned information, I knew it would strain my family. I suspect we all deal with that strain in some way, so how do we make it serve the highest good?
We all get the same conditioning but we take to it differently. Religious beliefs are the strongest force; second to and sometimes commingled with political beliefs. Mixed in there as well are the moral, social, racial, educational and economic beliefs: groupings within groupings within groupings… all of them rife with opinions and judgments.
For some family members, inherited beliefs provide comfort and security. For others, the beliefs are too restrictive – so the spirit must use them as a launching pad. There is always the random molecule, as I call it… the person who can’t fit inside the beliefs and has to make a move. Sometimes we know it from a very young age. It’s the ‘I won’t be staying here’ feeling that turns into exploring, wandering, seeking and yearning for knowledge.
This quest is the natural, spiritual desire to fulfill our lives – it’s our evolution and incredibly precious to us. A search begins for information, and it leads to books and people who nudge us along with the same spirit of yearning. We want something beyond the suffering of this world: an alternative way of being, inside the physical but outside of the inhumane matrix.
So there I was, wanting to know who I am, and displeasing some of my family. While it seemed painful at the time, I realize now that it was the friction of evolution. Living through the pressure of another’s displeasure takes strength of spirit, understanding of the other, introspection and honest self-examination, forgiveness, and some psychological sophistication.
Ultimately, the warmth of love has to be bigger than the ego’s opinion – quite a test for all.
No matter what the system of belief is; religion, politics, race, whatever… people want you to remain in place. It gives them comfort and it verifies the belief. The occasional zealot may even infringe on you to keep you in place. ‘Allowing is love’ is not in the family rulebook unless you put it there. So this will be challenge number one, for the entire group.
It’s good to keep in mind, if you are mature enough to do so, that each one of these individuals, including the zealot, are spirits in a physical body, having an evolutionary experience. They all have the divine spark and they are part of your growth as you are part of theirs.
You can cope with the friction by keeping your inner beliefs to yourself… that’s the safe way and it can work just fine. Sometimes it’s the most loving thing to do. But if that’s not working, and your spiritual journey does become an issue, you’ll have to go it alone, and be gracious as you do it.
To do any less, to fake who you are in order to avoid friction, creates an uncomfortable variance within you. The variance will be dispiriting and damaging to your growth. You do have to be yourself in life, so if it’s the fake you that goes there to visit, maybe you’re better off to exit the stage for a time.
In my younger years, I did exit the stage… not because of family dysfunction, but in order to protect my journey. The transition I was experiencing was so challenging, that I couldn’t have my family around. Their worry would weaken my resolve, and I needed my resolve. Since my evolution was spiritual, honorable and vital to me, I cut ties and went through a very great expansion. It was a life and love lesson for all, as it turns out, causing us to examine ties, judgments and opinions.
Speaking from experience, and knowing myself better now, the ties were attached to my own weakness. It took a bit of disentangling to realize that the ‘I am causing them pain’ guilt trip was indeed an ego trip – the inflated idea of my own importance. None of us is that important. On the liberation journey one must learn to place things where they belong: my discomfort is of my own making; the discomfort of others is of their own making. It takes some growing up to realize that fact.
Later on, much later, I would learn that the way to experience family and hold to your power is to get the ego out of the way and trust what you know. You have knowledge gained from your own conscious living as well as your inner connection to the divine. You are indeed here to evolve and serve. Every member of your family is here to do the same. Your evolution is a factor in their evolution and vice versa. Have respect for them, knowing that your higher selves have come together for interaction and growth.
It can be a kind of ‘eureka moment’ to realize that – comforting in the overall scheme of things.
There is great value in family; not as emotional ‘ties that bind’, but as our inherited evolutionary ladder. It promises a beautiful outcome… if we make it so.