Wednesday, August 14, 2019
Ten Things I Hate About Being Psychic
Frank Andrews is one of New York’s most famous and well-respected psychics.
For 51 years he’s given readings to people like John Lennon, Grace Kelly (yes, he warned them), and even the Dalai Lama. Monster Children dropped by Frank’s Nolita townhouse back in Issue 40 to play fetch with his Australian Kelpie, enjoy a nice cup of tea, and find out about the suckier side of the crystal ball.
I think the worst part of being a psychic is when people come to me and they don’t have a happy ending. For instance, they might be in the fourth stage of cancer, or there’s the young man who has Aids and he’s hoping I’m going to say there’s a cure coming soon. In fact when Aids (first appeared) all the gay guys never came back because they didn’t want to know. The unhappy endings are the hardest readings.
Relentless phone calls
The second thing about the job is the people that call all the time. One lady holds the record: she called 28 times in a single day asking questions. Sometimes it’s okay if it’s really important. But someone called the other day and said, ‘One of my neighbours, their dog keeps pooping on my lawn; can you tell which dog it is?’
Comments about height
Sometimes when people see me on television and then they come see me, I’ll open the door and they’ll look at me and say, ‘Oh, you’re so short.’ And I say, ‘Well, I’m not a movie star!’ Actually, that’s funny because a lot of movie stars are really short. I met Robert Redford once for dinner—a friend of mine did the film The Legend of Bagger Vance—and Robert Redford was my height (pretty short-Ed).
I put my (contact details) on the net and then that day I think I got about 1000 hits. They look up ‘psychic’ now and my name will pop up. And then I get these messages like, ‘Will I ever get married?’ and ‘Will ever this or that.’ I can’t do that! So, yeah, forget the Internet.
The Hanged Man
This is a big one. Some people are stuck, in other words they can’t get out of the problem and I can’t find an answer. Like, ‘I don’t have a job, I don’t have anyone in my life,’ and I don’t see for them a job in their future, I don’t see a love interest. We can call this one The Hanged Man. There’s a (Tarot) card called The Hanged Man, and when I wrote my column for the New York Post a lot of prisoners would write to me from jail, and when I did their cards they always got the Hanged Man because they were in a state of suspension; they were waiting for Godot.
Too many lovers
This is another one that makes my job difficult. For example, when someone comes to me and they have three girlfriends going—I can’t read them properly, there’re too many people in the story.
People who want everything to happen tomorrow
People don’t want to hear about time. Like, ‘How long will my marriage last? How long before I get that job?’ And they can’t handle, or don’t want to hear about, great lengths of time. I remember a woman came to see me and I predicted that she’d meet a man. I said, I see a guy, he wears a cowboy hat and he has boots and he has a gun. And she used to call me every three months and say, ‘I didn’t meet him! I didn’t meet him!’ And it became a joke between us. Then finally I ran into her on the street and she’d met the guy, a Texan, and she’d married him… 18 years later!
I don’t like it when people come to see me and they’re late. They don’t realize it’s hard to do this. It’s like I’m ready for the operation, I’m ready to go out there, and all of a sudden—where are they? They’re not here yet. So when they come in a half-hour late I won’t do it, I can’t do it. Let’s just say you’re going to an audition. You’re all suited up, you’ve got the song, you’re all set to go and then the guy says, ‘Listen, the director won’t be here for another hour.’ It’s such a letdown! How do you stay in the zone?
The other thing about this job is I have to take a nap now after I finish. If I’ve had one reading or two readings or three—and it doesn’t matter if the readings are good, if they go, ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ and ‘how did you know that?’—when I’m finished I have to have a nap. It wasn’t like this before, but I’m getting older and it’s beginning to make me tired.
Journalists who try to get free readings
(Frank didn’t actually say this, but I’m sure it’s in his top ten.)