Even extended contortions are not getting us home here. We now have a century of explanations for astro explanations all suffering for any other data point that it not head on. Now imagine looking through a telescope and snapping an image of the top of my head. Make it slightly blurry.
Do you really think that any interpretation is trustworthy? I sure do not. Yet that is the nature of astronomy. At least we have gotten wonderful at improving resolution and we are discovering all sorts of exoplanets which neatly cleaned up some of our more stretched prognostocations. They all have planets of some sorty and we still do not know just how our solar system is so special. It is by the way.