Monday, March 27, 2023

Expected Death


It struck me, reading this from Janosh who i have followed for a couple of deecades, that none of us are ever coached on all this.  This item nicely redresses all that.

An expected death does prepare us and let us grant that at least.  The worst is always the unexpected.  how does one ever accept the death beside you of a young comrade.  The shock is too immediate.  The acceptance takes time.

The best understanding that we all need to carry with us is to understand that every soul, before born, will choose experiences and also several potential exit points as well.  That is big because it cedes control back to the spirit and not a close friend or family member.

We all need to under5stand it this way.

I want to share something very special with you.

As you know, I believe that everything is connected and that coincidences do not exist.

Two weeks ago, I had to say goodbye to my mother.

She passed on to a new world.

It was a process of several weeks.

Fortunately, it was not a long, hard struggle, and our moments together were intense, profound, and often without words.

But everything was complete.

When I felt that the time for her journey was approaching, I invited her parents, my father, and her dear children who had died before I came to this earth to get her.

They are special processes: birth and death.

At such moments you feel the magnificence of everything but also the vulnerability.

After a long walk on the beach, I opened my laptop.

The first thing I saw was a shared post on Facebook.


I wanted to share this post with you because it exactly matched the phase I was in at that moment.

It is such a beautiful text that I would like to share it with you.

"Expected Death.

~ When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing. Don't run out and call the nurse. Don't pick up the phone. Take a deep breath and be present to the magnitude of the moment.

There's a grace to being at the bedside of someone you love as they make their transition out of this world. At the moment they take their last breath, there's an incredible sacredness in the space. The veil between the worlds opens.

We're so unprepared and untrained in how to deal with death that sometimes a kind of panic response kicks in. "They're dead!"

We knew they were going to die, so their being dead is not a surprise. It's not a problem to be solved. It's very sad, but it's not cause to panic.

If anything, their death is cause to take a deep breath, to stop, and be really present to what's happening. If you're at home, maybe put on the kettle and make a cup of tea.

Sit at the bedside and just be present to the experience in the room. What's happening for you? What might be happening for them? What other presences are here that might be supporting them on their way? Tune into all the beauty and magic.

Pausing gives your soul a chance to adjust, because no matter how prepared we are, a death is still a shock. If we kick right into "do" mode, and call 911, or call the hospice, we never get a chance to absorb the enormity of the event.

Give yourself five minutes or 10 minutes, or 15 minutes just to be. You'll never get that time back again if you don't take it now.

After that, do the smallest thing you can. Call the one person who needs to be called. Engage whatever systems need to be engaged, but engage them at the very most minimal level. Move really, really, really, slowly, because this is a period where it's easy for body and soul to get separated.

Our bodies can gallop forwards, but sometimes our souls haven't caught up. If you have an opportunity to be quiet and be present, take it. Accept and acclimatize and adjust to what's happening. Then, as the train starts rolling, and all the things that happen after a death kick in, you'll be better prepared.

You won't get a chance to catch your breath later on. You need to do it now.

Being present in the moments after death is an incredible gift to yourself, it's a gift to the people you're with, and it's a gift to the person who's just died. They're just a hair's breadth away. They're just starting their new journey in the world without a body. If you keep a calm space around their body, and in the room, they're launched in a more beautiful way. It's a service to both sides of the veil."

~ Sarah Kerr, Ritual Healing Practitioner and Death Doula

Heart to Heart,


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