When I was depressed and suicidal, people always seemed to shy away from me. Even my own family appeared to be intimidated by me and my condition. No one knew how to talk to me. I could see the fear in everyone’s eyes and in their body language. I could sense it in the energy coming from them.
I used to wonder: “Am I talking too much? Am I too self-involved? Am I too self-centered? Why is everyone in such a hurry to walk away from me?” Sometimes I even wondered if I smelled bad… I used to keep checking my breath by blowing the air into the palm of my hand in an attempt to figure out whether my bad breath was the reason for the apparent discomfort I was causing in others.
“I finally met someone who’s not afraid of being around me. Well now everyone will know that there is nothing wrong with me. People won’t be afraid of me anymore. The women won’t have to picture in their heads me going after their husbands. I won’t pose any threat to them anymore. Everyone will know that I am normal. Everyone will know that I am acceptable.”
I want to see people not being afraid of anyone anymore. I want this world to be a place where judgment and bad stigmas derived from it are considered to be totally uncool. I want to see people hugging each other more often. I wanna live in a neighborhood where neighbors view each other as extended family. Where no one is forced to lock their doors, or their hearts for that matter. Where children are being raised with love by the entire “village” as opposed to being left alone in front of the big TVs.